31st August – 6th September 2026

Coming home after a holiday is always a strange mixture of feelings. On one hand, I was genuinely glad to be back and in my own bed. On the other, we had swapped France for not-so-great British weather and I had a shedload of washing to get through.

Everyone loves going on holiday but I’m fairly certain nobody enjoys the part where you have to unpack the car, empty the suitcases (or vacuum bags for us this time!) and accept that normal life has officially resumed.

The boys were heading home at 9am on the Saturday following our holiday and then it was time to collect Tango. He was ridiculously excited to see us, or more specifically to see me. He was obviously pleased to see Liam and Theo too, but I am after all his favourite human.

His excitement lasted for a little while once we got home, but then the reality of his own post-holiday blues appeared to set in. He spent the rest of the day sulking on his bed or on the sofa, staring at us with his best puppy-dog eyes.

After two weeks of enjoying two walks a day through woodlands and fields right on the dog sitter’s doorstep, returning to normal life with us was clearly a significant downgrade. To make matters worse, the weather had turned so a Saturday walk wasn’t even on the cards.

Thankfully, the bank holiday gave us a slightly longer weekend to get ourselves back into the swing of home life. Liam had the extra day off, and the boys weren’t coming back until later in the day, so we had a quiet little pocket of time before the madness of school and work began again.

There was definitely some post-holiday blues. We missed being away, the weather was miserable and there was plenty to sort out. At the same time, it was nice to be home, sleep in our own bed and slowly settle back into a routine.

Starting Secondary School

The biggest event of the week was Theo was starting secondary school.

We began with the traditional first-day uniform photos in front of the back door, taking some of Theo on his own and then some with the boys before sending them around to family.

He looked incredibly smart and seemed completely ready for the day ahead. He said he felt okay and wasn’t worried, so unworried in fact that he didn’t want me to walk him to the gate.

Naturally, I did anyway. It was his first day….and still in my eyes my little boy!

Ryan went to Nona’s so she could take him to school. That meant I could focus properly on Theo’s first morning without having to rush away to get Ryan where he needed to be. Lewis had an INSET day, so he waited at Nona’s to be collected by his Mum later on in the morning.

When we arrived at school, we met Theo’s cousin by the gate and they headed inside together. I mainly wanted to see with my own eyes that he had safely made it through the school gates. Once he had, that was it. All I could do was wait through the school day until I could collect him and hear how he had got on.

I felt proud more than anything else. I was ready for him to take this next step and start growing up and maturing a little more. I genuinely felt that secondary school was exactly what he needed.

The strangest part was returning to an empty house afterwards, with only Tango for company. After all the preparation, uniform buying and thinking about the first day, it was suddenly all very quiet.

The next adjustment was getting used to our new routine: waking up earlier, making packed lunches the night before and checking that all the boys had everything they needed for school and returning back to their Mum’s. There suddenly seemed to be a lot more to remember, but we gradually began to find our rhythm.

Holding the Fort

On the same morning that Theo started secondary school, Liam headed to the airport for a work trip. He was away from Wednesday until Friday night, and it was the first time in our relationship that he had properly travelled away for work.

The practical side of things went smoothly. We had help from Liam’s parents and my stepdad when we needed it, and not working meant that I could manage the school runs and pickups without trying to juggle them around a job.

I had everything under control, which also meant Liam didn’t have to worry about what was happening at home. I wanted him to be able to concentrate on work and know that everything here was being handled.

It wasn’t really the running of the house that made me notice his absence, it was more so the quietness.

Liam usually works from home, so even when we are both busy doing our own things, I’m used to him being there throughout the day. With him away and the boys at school, the house felt noticeably empty.

In the evenings, I watched television that Liam wouldn’t have wanted to watch, spent time with Theo and generally chilled out. I often went to bed earlier than normal and either read or watched television from there because, quite frankly, I love my bed.

Once Liam had finished work, we would catch up on the phone before going to sleep. It reminded me of when we first started dating and used to end our evenings talking to each other over the phone for hours.

It was quite nostalgic, although I still would have preferred to have him at home.

Not Going Back

Not having a job to return to after the holiday brought a real mixture of emotions.

The strongest feeling was relief. I wasn’t going back to a working environment that I really hadn’t been enjoying, and I no longer had to wake up feeling anxious about what my day might look like.

Would I be doing the job I had actually been employed to do, or would I be expected to cover care calls because they were short-staffed again?

Leaving meant I didn’t have that uncertainty hanging over me every morning and I knew it had been the right decision. However, the worry about finding a new job had been there from the beginning.

Even while we were in France, when I should have been completely switched off and enjoying the holiday, I was searching and applying for jobs. By this week, I had two interviews arranged for the following week and was continuing to send off applications.

Alongside the relief and worry was guilt. I didn’t like not working or feeling as though I wasn’t contributing financially to the household. It felt as though more pressure had been placed on Liam, even if he didn’t make me feel that way himself.

I was relieved to have left, worried about what would happen next and guilty that I didn’t already have everything sorted out. Apparently, emotions don’t like arriving just one at a time.

Giving My Days Some Structure

I knew I needed to give my days some structure. Otherwise, it would have been far to easy to lose hours to social media and then feel worse about myself afterwards.

My mornings usually began with breakfast and a bit of doom-scrolling…I am only human! But after that, I tried to divide the day between studying, cleaning the house, applying for jobs, preparing for interviews and taking Tango for his walks.

Having a plan helped. It showed me that I was still doing something useful, even if I wasn’t currently leaving the house to go to work each morning.

It also gave me time to think about what I genuinely wanted to do next.

Sports massage therapy was one possibility, I had bought an online course and had not completed it. So I got myself booked on to some upcoming workshops and continued the studying. Also, re-starting the candle-making business, Liam and I had intended on starting and then stopped. Both were things I wanted to explore, but I also knew that I needed a reliable job and regular income to help support the household.

I had several ideas and interests, but I couldn’t keep scattering my energy in every direction. I needed to work out where I wanted to put my focus rather than having my eggs spread across several different baskets.

A Much-Needed Confidence Boost

The high point of the week came from a phone conversation with a prospective employer.

They initially called about a job I had applied for, although, if I’m being completely honest, I had forgotten exactly which job it was. The director explained that she didn’t think the advertised role would suit me because the work was predominantly warehouse-based.

We spoke about my situation and briefly discussed why I had wanted to leave my previous job. After talking to me and looking through my CV, she said that she felt I had a lot to offer and was better suited to something beyond the vacancy I had originally applied for.

She invited me to come in and have a conversation about potentially creating or finding another role within the company that would make better use of my experience.

That conversation gave me a much needed boost.

After leaving a job that had made me question myself, hearing somebody say that I had more to offer helped rebuild some of my confidence and self esteem. It reminded me that I was worthy of a good job and that I deserved an opportunity to use the skills I had built over the years.

The low point of the week was Liam being away. Although everything at home ran smoothly, it was the first time it had properly happened and I missed having him there.

By Sunday evening, I felt ready to take on another week. I had interviews to prepare for and round two of Liam travelling away for work approaching.

I was apprehensive about the interviews, not only whether I would perform well, but whether the jobs themselves would be right for me, both financially and in terms of my skills.

More than anything, this week felt like the beginning of a new chapter.

Theo was beginning secondary school, our family was adapting to new routines and I was trying to work out what I actually wanted from the next stage of my own life.

I didn’t have all the answers yet. I knew I needed the security of a job, but I also wanted to leave room for sports massage therapy, candle making and the other possibilities I was beginning to explore.

For now, the aim was simply to stop spreading myself too thinly, choose where to focus my energy and trust that leaving the wrong job had created space for something better.